I noticed, right after I labeled the blogroll, that several folks got snarky comments on their blogs.
I am wondering if there is a connection, or if this is just coincidence.
Are you noticing more snarky comments on your blog? Are jerks using the labels on my blogroll to target the kind of folks they want to bully? I sincerely hope not (because I really really don't want to un-label them!)
Try Napoleon, Not Hitler
1 hour ago
6 comments:
I don't know about snarky, sa I don't have a blog and just sneak around reading them. However, I think you have gotten saucier since you got your assignment, I have noticed. I think I started reading when you were in the vetting process. I like you even better now.
Well thanks! I don't think it had to do with my assignment so much as having realized my posts were boring (useful occassionally, but still boring). I like trying to make people laugh.
You must realized by now that there is a hierarchy in the FS -- you're either an FSO or not, a Generalist or s Specialist. FS or CS. And at the bottom of the foodchain are EFMs, sometimes even below FSNs.
A spouse is often perceived as less than the officer, because you did not take and pass the FS exam. So despite your educ background or past experience, your opinion do not count as much because "you're just a spouse." Your performance is not as important because, you're "just a spouse" and sometimes real employees even forget to write your evaluation report when you are lucky enough to find a job that pays less than the burger flipper.
But since spouses do not get promoted, no harm done.
The govt often think of spouses as an afterthought, or only when you make too much noise. A male spouse got an offer for a position in his wife's section, but was withdrawn because the section chief did not think the married couple should work in the same section. Never mind that the wife has no supervisory responsibility over her husband's work. Then the section chief hired the wife of another section chief. When the spouse whose offer was withdrawn made a lot of noise, he was offered a newly created job at the front office.
So my unscientific opinion on the uptick of snark is an extension of that same low priority/importance extended to spouses and partners in this culture; unless they are you're own (the rhetorical you, of course). May not be clear on your first tour but eventually you'll see it.
And how dare these EFMs have opinions in these blogs and whining away and out of control? They really should just go and have tea and coffee in their white gloves, stay home and take care of the house. They should also just nod and agree when somebody tell them something, anything ....
The public, of course, think spouses are just queens in their public housing castles and should not have any cause to whine.
And now I'll get off my soap box and drink some more tea.
It sounds like you have had a rough road. I'm really sorry for that. It isn't fair.
I am aware of the perceived hierarchy. I'd like to think it is fading away as those same dinosaurs who don't think we should be recruiting minorities, or, god forbid, sexual perverts like me, die off, retire or TIC out. I know those are not the attitudes of those I work with, particularly those who joined the service around the time I did or since. (And they are certainly not the attitude of this officer, coming as I do from having been an MOH, which is definitely lower than EFM or FSN, and sometimes lower than random unaffiliated expats.)
I don't think the uptick in snark has to do with that, however, because the snarksters don't seem to be in the service. Some are retired (ie, dinosaurs like those mentioned above) or people who hate the service for whatever reason.
I don't think the Jerks have to do with your labels. I do think some people have something that isn't right in their brains, something missing, something longed for, whatever- that makes them feel powerful picking on others. And for what? Apostrophes? I mean, good grief!
Losers are losers, labels or not. (I think I just made up a bumper sticker!)
The snarks are bored and looking for any excuse.
As a former employee now SAHM, I have no problem with my spouse being the 'higher priority'. My husband's job is why we are where we are. We chose this together. Why should I get my knickers in a twist because I chose not remain in my position and so no longer get all the attention? I like my new job better. I changed my place in 'the hierarchy', ON PURPOSE. That saying, my husband would not be able to do his job, without me doing mine... meaning, the house, the kids, and everything to do with home life and school. The better I do my job, the better he does his. WE know that, and if anybody would like to argue otherwise.. well, it's a free interweb, go ahead... see if I care :p No one needs tell me to 'stay in my place' ... I've been in several 'places' and I know that the one I occupy now, is the most important position I've ever held.
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