Walls hurt. They leave bruises.
I felt like I hit one on Monday.
I was just feeling stupid. Like simple things I should know weren't coming. And to top it off, there is the guilt.
I was raised Catholic. I have said before that we have a guilt sponge inserted at baptism and for the rest of our lives, whether we practice Catholicism or not, we will absorb any free-floating guilt in the room and make it our own.
I just have this overwhelming feeling that our teacher is disappointed. Disappointed in me.
For today's fun, we decided to add a bit of panic to the bruises and guilt.
I was just discussing with my classmate my feelings of guilt and my fear that I wouldn't get a 2/2 on my next progress test. And my classmate suggested that maybe I could take the test after my immersion trip, which is coming up in a couple weeks.
And I thought, yeah, a week of immersion in language, I'll be good to go!
We got back to class, and out of the blue, our teacher says, "so we need to schedule a progress test before you go to Estonia."
Yes, before. Because I have to be in the range of a 2/2 before I can go.
In the range of apparently being the key phrase. She said not to worry, I was in the range.
Okay, but what if I don't test that well? I have already paid for my ticket! I am supposed to leave in like 22 days!
And of course, to me, in the range of means, no, not yet a 2/2.