I am going to come out and say it.
I HATE the term "trailing spouse."
It is offensive.
The Foreign Service is one of the last bastions in many cases of what we think of as a 50s marriage. Dad works, mom stays home.
That never really existed, and "Mom" didn't "stay home. She worked her a$$ off.
The Foreign Service though, can make it difficult for the non-employee spouse to have a regular career (unless you are a tandem couple). So the non-employee, male or female, must try to get embassy jobs or try to have a portable career. It is hard, sometimes impossible.
I joined so I wouldn't be a "trailing spouse." Gave up a career I loved to be with my wife. I don't regret it. I love my job and my life.
"Trailing Spouse" is the hardest job in the service.
The Huffington Post has a nice piece on trailing spouses and how hard it is for non-employee expats (not specifically about the Foreign Service).