Sunday, April 20, 2014

On Trailing

I am going to come out and say it.

I HATE the term "trailing spouse."

It is offensive.

The Foreign Service is one of the last bastions in many cases of what we think of as a 50s marriage. Dad works, mom stays home.

Two things.

That never really existed, and "Mom" didn't "stay home. She worked her a$$ off.

The Foreign Service though, can make it difficult for the non-employee spouse to have a regular career (unless you are a tandem couple). So the non-employee, male or female, must try to get embassy jobs or try to have a portable career. It is hard, sometimes impossible.

I joined so I wouldn't be a "trailing spouse." Gave up a career I loved to be with my wife. I don't regret it. I love my job and my life.

Plus

"Trailing Spouse" is the hardest job in the service.

The Huffington Post has a nice piece on trailing spouses and how hard it is for non-employee expats (not specifically about the Foreign Service).

1 comment:

Brooke said...

I also hate, hate it. I don't use it for myself and I don't use it for others. It does weird things to how we see ourselves and others. Hooray for saying it!