Unsettled

There used to be a blog out there called "Six Months of Settled." The idea behind the title is that as Foreign Service Officers, between arriving at a post and getting past culture shock and really settling in until you are bidding again and then mentally moving on, you get to feel settled in a country for about six months.

It is fairly true, but I feel like I have gotten more than that out of Tallinn.

Living here is easy and pleasant. There is so little of what you need to live comfortably that you can't obtain really easily here that it makes it easy to just snuggle in quickly like I do with my flannel sheets (because it does get cold!).

I have loved my time here. I love my job, my staff, and this whole place. So I have postponed mentally moving on because I like it so much here. Through the bidding process and getting assigned to my onward post, I never checked out of Estonia.

And I am still not ready to leave, but as I approach my last five months in Tallinn, I admit I am beginning to feel unsettled. And it makes me sad.

On the Myers-Briggs scale, I am an ENTJ. And I think it is the J part that really REALLY likes to plan. I love lists. I love having a schedule. I love thinking about what I am doing next and organizing it in my head and on paper.

I have already started the process of getting my orders, already registered for training, already made plane reservations for us and the pets, already gotten a welcome cable from Kosovo. And while I have avoiding breaking out the pen and paper so far, in my head, I am already making lists.

What do I need to remember to put in my suitcase? Should I start packing it now (NO!)

What should I put in my UAB?  Should I set it aside in one of the rooms we seldom use (again, NO!).

Maybe I should just start my inventory. (Okay, maybe).

I am even making lists of things I want to do to our new place in Maryland and things I will want to put into our consumables shipment to Kosovo (dog food, cat food, bird food...and diet Mt. Dew).

One list I should make, but won't, is places I should visit before I leave.

I figure, if I miss something I wanted to see, I will just have to come back.

And I will want to come back. Because I don't want to leave.